By Tom Rwahwire
Those of us who are familiar with money have our own cars and that is how we know that gwe, driving in Uganda is bogus hell. Not because of narrow roads and potholes. Because of idiots. There are idiots with hair growing on both sides of the skull; outside it is fine, but inside it goes and interferes with the grey matter and they can’t think. Bloody idiots.
Lately there have been fewer idiots on Entebbe road. You wonder why.
Well, news that over 20 motorists have been arrested for illegally using the as-yet-closed-to-the public expressway is the answer. The idiots have been sneaking onto the expressway.
Foolish hyena whose brains were eaten by bedbugs while they were sleeping.
Dear Police, first of all, don’t send them back to us. We are enjoying the peace of being able to drive without some rotten papali trying to overtake the entire Entebbe Road jam and causing another jam in the opposite lane (When you get your own car you will understand what that means). Please arrest them, give them life no parole for being idiots.
Dear police, in fact, don’t arrest them. There hasn’t been a riot in a while. Aren’t you bored? Why don’t you change out of your traffic police uniforms and put on your riot police uniforms and teargas those fools. Give them some kiboko. I know it is a violation of human rights, but if you drive like a maggot, you should expect maggot rights, not human ones.
Dear Police, unless it is music videos. If people are still shooting music videos, then allow those ones. One For The Road by Bruno K should have been shot there. And should have had more bootyshaking. Our youth are unemployed and they have jiggly asses. Let them queen dance on the expressway.
Finally, record all their names and their particulars. We know some will not be arrested. Some of the police sometimes #NotAllPolice take bribes. But even if you take the bribe, take down the number. When you open that expressway, please, don’t allow them back. Let them be the ones to use the fake old road and the rest of us who have sense keep the expressway.