By Timothy Murungi
“Water your marriage with these four phrases extravagantly; ‘I am sorry’, ‘Please forgive me’, ‘I am grateful’ and ‘I appreciate you’. Those are the keys to a beautiful marriage.”
That is what Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) executive director Dorothy Kisaka said in her beautifully crafted post on social media page on Monday, celebrating her 32nd marriage anniversary to her husband, Peter Kisaka Kiyimba.
In her post titled Once A bride, Always A Bride, she talked of how they reminisced “in the morning sunshine” about the day they met at a basketball court decades ago.
It all started with “Hello my name is Peter, can I visit you after the basketball match?”
But the “visitor never left”, recalls Dorothy. Then Peter shared music with her – and more music, until it was on a daily basis. Armed with a guitar, Peter finally found the right chords and strummed his way into her heart.
That is what happened in a space of five years before the lovebirds tied the knot at St. Francis Chapel, located inside Makerere University.
And for wives to husbands: “Call him ‘My Lord’, ‘owekitibwa’, ‘mwami wange’. Your house is his castle and you are the queen therein.”
Flowers and chocolate
Going down that memory lane to celebrate her 32nd marriage anniversary with Peter, Dorothy also shared a box of tricks for partners. According to her, the foremost aspect is keeping the magic of the wedding day.
“Often, couples forget the glory of the bride and groom and sooner than later, start treating each other like ordinary human beings. Who says a bride is an ordinary human being? Once a bride, always a bride,” she said.
According to her, the glory of the bride and groom, as on the wedding day, should never leave the hearts and minds of couples.
“So those little extras meant for brides only should still attend her. She should be told how pretty she is and how you will choose her every single time if you had to do it all over again.
“Give her that special drink she loves, the beautiful bouquet meant for brides only with a bar of chocolate. She is your bride, pamper her every day,” advised the KCCA boss.
And for wives to husbands: “Call him ‘My Lord’, ‘owekitibwa‘, ‘mwami wange‘. Your house is his castle and you are the queen therein.”
‘Ask for forgiveness’
Yet, Dorothy admits, that it is not always going to be happily ever after, as the aura of first encounter or marriage wears off.
“It’s an indictment when your spouse feels downtrodden in their own home. Of course, it might happen here and there, but don’t allow it to be an ongoing never-ending episode,” she tipped.
She continued to share her 32-year-strong marital wisdom.
“To say sorry, for marriage makes people vulnerable plus it is a give and take; ask for forgiveness; find little things to be grateful for every day – like the effort your partner puts in even though it doesn’t meet the standard.
“Thank her for the food and the deco around the house. Be grateful for each other’s companionship. Be grateful to God,” Dorothy advised.
Another principle is appreciating one another. “Women never tire of hearing how beautiful they are. They are incurable romantics. Don’t starve her of praise, it irritates her wellbeing,” added Dorothy.
“Appreciate your groom not just (for) his looks, but for who he is. Be authentic, say something that honors him.”
And finally, for the girls dreaming of their own prince charming, Dorothy advised: “Dream on, you silently breathe.”